The Year's End
by ProcrastinationQueen
Summary: Joan’s lyme disease, Kevin’s lawsuit, Judith’s death – what else could possibly go wrong for the Girardis this year? A killer abducts Joan to get revenge on Will. UPDATED (finally) and COMPLETE!
1. Prologue

**Summary:** Joan's lyme disease, Kevin's lawsuit, Judith's death – what else could possibly go wrong for the Giradis this year?

**Disclaimer:** As always, they're not mine, and I'm just borrowing.

**The Year's End**

December 20, 2004

10:00 PM

Will was in the kitchen of the Girardi house making himself a snack before heading upstairs to bed when the phone rang. Setting down the plate in his hand, he reached for the phone.

"Hello?"

"Well, hello yourself, Girardi. Remember me?"

"Who is this?"

"You don't remember? I'm hurt. Let me refresh your memory. Five years ago? The case that earned you your big promotion?"

"Graves?"

"That's right. You finally caught up with me and landed my ass in prison. Until a couple days ago, that is."

"You're out? How did that happen?"

"You know, good help is so hard to find these days, even for the correctional system. One little prison riot distracts them, and someone slips away."

"Why are you calling me?"

"'Tis the season. And I'm giving you a little gift called payback. You took something from me, now I take something from you."

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"It's 10:00, Girardi. Do you know where your daughter is?"


	2. Chapter 1

9:45pm

Finally! The bookstore was closed up and it was time to head for home. As Joan headed for her car, she muttered to herself what a jerk Sammy was. Always making snarky little comments. And he made her stay late tonight to finish the inventory. She was still muttering to herself about what she'd REALLY like to say to him when she turned onto the nearly deserted side street where she'd left her car. She was so caught up in her little one sided rant that she didn't notice the SUV parked across the street, much less the man in it. She never heard him get out of the truck or cross the street and move toward her as she reached for the door handle. She was only aware of a sudden sharp pain in the back of her head, then darkness.

As she slumped to the ground at his feet, Graves smiled. "Well, that was a bit easier than I expected", he thought as he hoisted her in his arms and carried her to the back of the SUV. Pulling out a syringe and a vial, he injected a sedative into her. She was already out cold, but still, he didn't want to take the chance of her waking up soon. He had a phone call to make. He covered her with the tarp he had brought with him, and headed for the payphone on the corner.

10:05 PM

After he hung up the phone, Will looked at the clock on the microwave and realized he didn't remember hearing Joan come in from work. The bookstore closed at 9pm, and she should have gotten home by now.

Helen came downstairs and taking in the stunned look on Will's face, asked, "What is it? Who was that?" Will didn't answer. "Will?"

"Did Joan get home from work?"

"No, not yet. Why?"

"She should have been home by now. "

"Maybe she stopped by Adam's. What's going on?"

"Call her cell phone. If she answers, tell her to stay where she is and I'll come get her."

"What? If she answers? Will, what are you talking about?"

"Graves escaped from prison."

"Graves? That guy from the murder case back in Staten Island a few years ago?"

"Yeah. That was him on the phone just now."

"What are you telling me? What does this have to do with Joan?"

"I don't know. I don't know. He asked if I knew where she was and then hung up."

"She's not answering her phone…"

"Call Adam's house, and Grace's too. Maybe she's there. And keep trying her cell. I'm going down to the station. Whether he has her or not, we have to find him."

Will grabbed his coat and keys and headed out the door, leaving Helen standing in the kitchen, stunned.

Helen called Adam and Grace, neither of whom had seen her since that afternoon at school. Helen didn't want to worry them, so she attempted to downplay her concern, telling them Joan probably just had to work late, since Christmas was on Saturday. She then proceeded to call Joan's cell phone about twenty times, silently begging her daughter to answer. She was pacing as she made the calls, and was so tense she nearly jumped out of her skin when the phone in the kitchen rang. Racing to answer it, she heard Will on the line.

"Will, I can't reach her. Did you find out anything?"

"I sent a unit over to the bookstore."

"And…?"

"Her car is still parked on one of the side streets near the store. They also found her purse and cell phone with the car."

"Oh my God. Oh God, no!"

"I'm sending another unit over to the house. We're going to set up a wire tap on the phone in case he calls again. I'll be there soon too. We'll find her, Helen, I promise."

Will made the last statement with more conviction than he felt. He was just as scared as his wife if not more so since he knew what this guy was capable of. He ran a hand over his face and headed out to the bull pen to help coordinate the search effort.

Kevin and Luke had heard their mother cry out from the kitchen and came downstairs to see what was wrong. "Mom, what is it", Kevin asked, seeing her in tears. "Joan", Helen choked out. "Was there an accident", asked Luke.

Helen looked at her sons, not knowing what to tell them. "She's been taken. Someone your father caught a long time ago escaped from prison. We think he's got Joan."


	3. Chapter 2

December 21, 2004

None of the Girardis got any sleep the previous night. They all waited for some news about Joan that unfortunately never came. Will came home for awhile before heading back to the station, needing to do something to find his daughter. Helen called her and Luke off school, and Kevin stayed home from the paper as well. A tense silence settled over the house. No one knew what to do or say. The doorbell rang about noon and made all of them jump. Helen looked at the door with a fear-filled look on her face. If the police were at the door, she didn't think she could handle that. Kevin noticed her look and went to the door himself, hoping it might bring some news about his sister. He opened to door and was both relieved and disappointed to find Grace and Adam standing on the porch. He motioned for them to come in, where they saw Luke and Helen sitting silently in the living room.

"So, what's up?" Grace asked. "We get this phone call last night wondering where Joan is, and then today school was noticeably Girardi-free. Did she run away and join the circus or something?"

No one answered her, and Helen just looked away.

"Did something happen to Jane," Adam asked tentatively.

"She's gone", Kevin finally answered. "We think someone took her to get even with dad for something. They found her car and her purse by the bookstore. The cops are all looking for her."

The living room now had two more stunned and silent occupants.

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Joan awoke to a pounding headache and a cottony feeling in her mouth. She was cold, too. Maybe she could stay home from school today, she thought. After all there were only two days left until Christmas break and nothing useful ever got accomplished right before a school break anyway. She tried to sit up and found she couldn't. She tried to move her arms, and found she couldn't do that either. She opened her eyes, and realized she was not in her bedroom at home. She was in a dark room, which looked more like a closet since there were no windows. As she started to panic, she also noticed the reason for her immobility – her wrists were in handcuffs which had been strung through a chain that was connected to the wall. She tried to move so she could sit up, but the movement caused a wave of nausea to sweep over her and forced her back down. She tried again, but the effort, combined with the blow to her head the night before and the sedative in her system, was too much and she blacked out.

It was much later when Joan came to again, but she felt much the same way as she had the last time. Her body ached all over, and she groaned as she tried to move.

"Nice of you to join me, Sleeping Beauty", she heard a voice say.

She looked over toward where the voice came from and tried to focus on a figure by the door. She felt a chill pass over her as the figure approached.

"Who – who are you? Where am I?" she choked out.

"I'm an old friend of your father's. I just need to collect on a debt. It's been five years, so I thought I'd charge interest too."

Joan looked at him in confusion. What was he talking about?

Graves noticed her confusion and laughed a little. "Perhaps I should clarify. Because of your father, I spent the last 5 years locked up in a rathole of a prison. I had to suffer, so now I will make him suffer. Now, I could just kill him, but where's the fun in that? Not nearly enough pain involved. That's where you come in. There's nothing worse for a parent than to have something happen to one of their kids."

Joan was terrified, and tried to back as far away from Graves as possible. He laughed again and moved toward her. She was now pressed up against the wall, and he crouched down in front of her. He ran his hand through her hair, over her cheek, and down her neck where he grasped her throat. "You look scared, princess. You should be. But I'm not going to kill you yet. Let's see if Daddy can find you. In the meantime, we could have a little fun. Who knew that ugly s.o.b. would have such a pretty daughter?"

He ran his other hand down her body, and Joan tried to push him away and attempted to kick him. "Don't touch me!"

A knife she hadn't noticed before was quickly pressed up against her throat, silencing her and stilling her attempts to fight back.

"I'll do what I want with you, princess. But not yet. You'll be my Christmas present. I'll wait to open you up 'til then."

As Graves stepped away, Joan did the only thing she could think of. "Please, God", she prayed. "Help me."

Graves came toward her again with a syringe in his hand. "I need to go out for awhile and don't want you causing any problems while I'm gone."

Joan began to struggle as he grasped her arm, and she suddenly saw stars as he backhanded her hard across the face. She was too stunned to resist when he injected her with another dose of the sedative.

"God, please help me", she again pleaded as the darkness overtook her.

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The rest of the day had passed slowly at the Girardi house. Helen, Kevin, Luke, Grace, and Adam all anxiously awaited good news that never came. The police officer in the house in charge of the wiretap on the phone served as a constant reminder that something was very wrong.

Around dinnertime, Grace couldn't take the sitting around anymore. She had to do something or she'd be the next one to go to crazy camp. Figuring Helen wasn't going to be up to making dinner, and knowing everyone needed to eat something, Grace started rummaging around the kitchen looking for something to make. She couldn't cook much, but it was really hard to mess up pasta. She found spaghetti, sauce, and stuff to make a salad. She went back into the living room and saw that Luke and Adam were sitting silently in chairs. Helen was on the couch staring vacantly at a spot on the opposite wall, and Kevin was next to her, holding her hand and saying something to her quietly. Grace walked over to Luke and Adam. "C'mon, Geek. You're helping me in the kitchen. You too, Rove." They just looked at her, so she grabbed both their arms and dragged them into the kitchen.

Will came home shortly after dinner, having been sent home after he ripped into Sammy, who had been brought in for routine questioning, for leaving Joan alone the night before and not walking her to her car. Will had been livid, and needing someone to blame, went for Sammy. His colleagues encouraged him to go home and see to his family. They would take care of everything at the station and keep him updated.

The evening passed as slowly as the rest of the day had. Adam and Grace had reluctantly gone home around 9pm, and Kevin had driven them at Will's insistence. "We don't need to have anyone else missing", he'd said.

At around 10:00, the phone rang. Will answered it cautiously.

"Hello?"

"Hello again, Giradi. Missing someone?"

"Where is she?"

"She's around. She's also very pretty. Merry Christmas to me, huh?"

"You sick…" Will stopped short as an officer manning the wiretap motioned him to calm down a bit, but continued on anyway. "If you touch her, I will kill you." Laughter was the only response he received. "Put her on. I want to talk to her", Will demanded.

"Sorry. Maybe later I'll let you listen in."

"What are you after? Why are you doing this?"

"I already told you, Girardi. Payback."

"We've got an address on that phone call, Will. We're sending squad cars there now", said the officer after the call disconnected.

Will insisted on riding along. When they got to the location, they found that the call had come from another payphone not far from the one near the bookstore. Unfortunately, the area was deserted with no sign of anyone having been there. Will pounded on the roof of the car in frustration, and he dreaded having to go home and tell Helen it was just a dead end.

Helen, Kevin, and Luke were in the living room when Will came in the front door. The hopeful look on Helen's face disappeared as soon as she saw the look on Will's. "Nothing?" she asked. "Nothing", he responded. "The call was made from a payphone, like the last one. No witnesses, no nothing." Helen sank back onto the sofa and started to cry.


	4. Chapter 3

December 22, 2004

The search for Joan continued. They were reasonably sure she was in Arcadia, somewhere, since the phone calls had been from payphones in town. But they weren't able to narrow that down to any more specific locations or get any more concrete leads. The media had picked up on the case, but so far any tips they had received from the public had been useless. Will was at the station, working almost frantically to piece together clues that just weren't there. He shouldn't have been there, since he was too emotionally invested in this case, but he had to be. As much as the other officers wanted to send him home, they couldn't. He was the only one who had any real knowledge of Graves, since he had caught him before, and they needed his knowledge about this guy if they were going to find Joan alive.

Even though it was the holiday season and everyone had family commitments, they were all putting in overtime on this case. This was one of their own, and they were determined to find her. Extra manpower was brought in for this case, much of it volunteer. One of these volunteers was Detective Toni Williams. Even though she was off work and taking a Christmas break for a few days, she headed for Arcadia as soon as she heard Joan was missing. She knew Will could use her help and support. She had jumped right into the case upon arriving.

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Joan slowly came to, feeling worse than she had when she awoke the day before. At least she thought it had been the day before. The room she was in was so dark, she didn't know if it was day or night. She managed to pull herself into a sitting position. The chain on the wall was a bit longer than she had thought it'd been yesterday, and allowed for a bit of movement. But laying on a hard floor had made her so stiff that any movement was difficult. She sat in the darkness, not knowing what to do. She tried to see if she could free her wrists, but the handcuffs were on tight, and the chain was thick. She didn't know how long she sat there, alone in the dark, before a door opened and the dark figure from last night stepped into the room.

"Oh, nice to see you awake. I trust you slept well", Graves said, laughing, as he flipped on the light on the ceiling and walked over to her. "But if you didn't, I don't really care." He stood in front of her, and smiled a smile that made Joan's blood run cold.

"Why are you doing this?" she asked, hoping to distract him from whatever he was thinking.

"Geez, you don't listen any better than your father. I already told you both – it's payback time. I waited outside your house Monday morning, wondering what I was going to do. Then I saw you and your brother leave for school. I took one look at you and knew you were the one I'd take. Daddy's little girl, I'm guessing. And wouldn't it just kill him to lose his little girl? I figure it will, if it hasn't already. He's knows my routine. It's probably going around and around his head as he imagines what I might be doing to you right now."

He ran his hand through her hair and over her cheek and neck as he had last night. Joan shuddered, and tried to turn away. He grabbed her jaw roughly and kissed her hard on the mouth. Then his hands were roaming over her body again. Joan had no leverage to fight him, pressed against the wall, so she spit in his face when he pulled away slightly.

"Goddammit! Bad move, princess" he said angrily. He pulled out the knife again, and Joan instinctively raised her arms in front of her. He hadn't expected that, and the blade hit her forearm and sunk in. She tried to push him away, but he only got angrier, and she wound up getting cut again. "See what you made me do?" he yelled.

Now the knife was on her throat, and she felt it cutting her.

"My dad will find me", she said, trying to sound sure of that even as her voice shook.

"You think so, princess? Well, I wonder if he'll like what he finds." He held the knife to her cheek and drew the blade downward toward her chin. Joan cried out in pain and felt the blood run down her cheek and neck. Graves smiled, and brought the knife back up against her throat.

"You know, I might not be able to wait until Christmas after all. I was never very good at waiting to unwrap my presents."

Joan screamed, but the only person able to hear her just laughed.

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"NO!" Helen awoke with a start from where she had drifted off on the couch. She sat up and tried to shake the images that had awakened her from her head. She'd seen Joan in her dream, and blood. Lots of blood.

"Mrs. Girardi?" asked Officer Marks, who'd been manning the wire tap. "You ok?"

"Yeah, just a dream. Where did the kids all go?"

"Out to the garage, I think. They mentioned something about a boat."

Helen nodded as the doorbell rang. She got up to answer it and found Fran waiting on the other side of the door.

"Fran, please, come in. How have you been?"

"I should be asking you that", Fran said as she greeted Helen with a hug. "I heard about Joan on the news. Have you heard anything new?"

"No, nothing. Will's down at the station, and I'm sure he'd call if he found something."

"Is there anything I can do? Joan is probably the only true friend Judith ever had, and I'd like to help out in any way I can."

"I appreciate the offer, but no. There isn't even anything I can do."

"Well, I have a couple more patients I need to see today. But here's a casserole for you for dinner. It's not much, but at least you won't have to worry about cooking."

"You didn't have to..."

"Yes, I did. It's the least I can do. And if you do need anything, even just a friend to talk to, please don't hesitate to call."

The women hugged again as Fran left, and as Helen closed the door she became aware once again of the silence in the house. It seemed even quieter since the kids were outside, probably working on the boat just to have something to do. Helen didn't think she could just sit anymore either so she did what she usually did when she was upset about something. She started to clean.

It was late in the evening when Will went home to check on the rest of his family. They'd found nothing today. Nothing. It was so frustrating to have so little to go on. His prior knowledge of Graves was anything but a comfort. He'd walked out of a briefing he was giving some of the officers about Graves' M.O. when he got to the part about what he typically did to his victims. He couldn't bring himself to say what could be happening to Joan. Toni had to finish it for him. He was embarrassed about that, even though he knew they all understood. He walked slowly past the police cruiser stationed in front of his house with a heavy step, wishing he had something positive to tell family.

Will found Helen in the laundry room, doing some laundry. She didn't look up when he entered.

"I can't believe how quickly this laundry piles up. But I've got to get these washed for Joan. They're her favorite. She'll want to wear them when she comes home."

"Helen…"

"She's always saying how all the clothes she likes are always dirty. I need to have them ready for her."

"Helen…"

She finally looked up at him. "You haven't found anything." It was a statement, not a question.

"He's sure to call again. Then maybe we can find out more"

Helen's anger came to the fore. "Why are you just waiting for a phone call from some psycho, hoping he'll tell you something? Can't you _do_ something? Offer him a deal?

"We are doing something. We're trying to find her, in every way we can, but we don't negotiate in these situations. We have to follow regulations, even for this."

"Goddammit Will! This is our daughter! I don't care if you have to make a deal with the devil himself– just get her back!" She slammed the lid on the washer and stormed out of the room.

"Helen, wait!"

"No! I don't want to hear about any damn regulations when this monster could be doing God knows what to my baby girl. To hell with your regulations! All I want to hear is that she's ok and that she's coming home!" With that, Helen ran up the stairs and went into her bedroom, slamming the door hard behind her.

Kevin, Luke, Grace, and Adam had come back inside and had heard the entire exchange. "Uh, Rove, I think that's our cue to leave", said Grace. She and Adam were out the back door before Kevin even had a chance to offer to drive them home.

That night, Will sat in the living room of the silent house by himself. Kevin and Luke were upstairs, hopefully getting some sleep, and Helen hadn't emerged from their bedroom. 10:00 had come and gone, as had 11:00. It was now past midnight, and it was clear to Will that Graves wasn't going to call. He felt so helpless. Knowing he'd never be able to get to sleep, he decided to head back to the station.

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Across town, Joan was hovering on the edge of consciousness. She was curled into a tight ball on the floor, shivering from shock and cold. She knew she had to get out of there, soon, if she was going to get out at all. But her hands were still tied, and there was nothing to use to get out. The only other items in the closet with her were a bucket Graves had left for her to relieve herself and a jug of water. Yelling would just bring Graves back in and who knows what else he'd do to her besides just giving her another injection. There was nothing she could do besides pray. "God, I know you can hear me. Please, help me. Please send my dad, or someone. Please." The last thing she was aware of before she slipped back into unconsciousness was absolute silence.


	5. Chapter 4

December 23, 2004

Helen heard the mail carrier let the metal lid drop on the mailbox as she sat on the couch in the living room. Kevin and Luke were in the garage, supposedly working on the boat for a distraction, and Will was upstairs, supposedly getting some sleep. The other officers had sent him home late this morning because he was exhausted. Hell, they all were. When she opened the door to retrieve the mail, she noticed that a package had arrived as well. She carried it and the other mail into the kitchen and looked at the address to see who it was from. It was addressed to her, and the return address said simply: NORTH POLE. Thinking it may be a gift from a relative, maybe her crazy Aunt Olive, she thought she'd go ahead and open it up. She tore the paper away and opened the lid on the box.

"WILL!" Helen screamed as she looked in horror at the contents of the package. "OH MY GOD! NO! WILL!"

Will rushed down stairs to the kitchen. "What is it? What's wrong?"

Helen's hands shook as she held up the sweater that had been in the box. Blood covered the upper left of the front, one of the arms, and was spattered elsewhere on the garment. "This just came. In the mail."

"Is it…"

"It's Joan's. I remember her putting it on as she went out the door to work that day. She was saying how the bookstore is always so cold. Oh God, Will. What's happened to her?"

As Will pulled his wife into his arms, he did something he hadn't done in a very long time, and in fact had refused to do. He prayed.

Adam was sitting in his shed, but he wasn't working on his art. He was far too worried about Jane to think about anything else. He jumped when he heard the knock on the door and looked up as Grace entered. Neither one had been to the Girardi's yet today, partly due to Helen's outburst at Will the night before. Grace sat down next to Adam and picked up a random piece of metal. "How are you?" she asked her friend.

Adam sighed. "I'm scared for her. The more time that goes by…" He couldn't finish the sentence, but Grace nodded with understanding. After a moment she said, "I heard from Luke this morning. Graves never called last night. They haven't heard anything else either." Both Grace and Adam were silent for a while as they pondered what that might mean.

"It's been over 48 hours", Adam pointed out. "Isn't that supposed to be like the magic time frame if you're going to find someone that's missing? That's what the news people are saying, anyway."

"Don't think like that, dude. It'll make you nuts."

"I can't help it. Aren't you scared?"

"Yeah. But until we know different, we have to think she's ok. She has to be ok." Grace normally wasn't one to admit things like this, but even though she was a tough 16 year old kid, she was still a 16 year old kid.

The shed fell silent again for a time until the ringing of Grace's cell phone startled them both.

"It's Luke."

Adam tried to read her expression as she listened to whatever Luke was telling her.

"Ok. Adam and I will be over soon", she said as she hung up.

"Mrs. G got a package in the mail today. It had Joan's sweater in it, the one she was wearing the other night." Grace paused, not knowing how to tell him the rest, and not wanting to believe it herself. "It has blood on it."

Adam put his head down on his work table, unable to stop his tears. Grace put a comforting hand on his shoulder, and stood with tears streaming down her face as well.

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Joan had lost all track of time. Between the darkness of the closet and the sedative Graves injected her with every time he needed to leave the house, she had no idea how many days had passed. She was also lighted headed from lack of food and the combination of her empty stomach and the sedative was making her sick. She wondered if that was the plan – to starve her to death. She wondered if and when help would come. She wondered about God, too. Normally, she was happy when she didn't see him. Now when she wanted to see him, she couldn't. He had told her once that he was always there, whether she saw Him or not. She hoped that was true. She heard movement outside the room and then saw Graves as he entered. He turned on the light in the small chamber and walked over to Joan who had turned away from the sudden brightness.

"So, Daddy hasn't come for you, has he princess? That's too bad for you. And for him, too. See, I've got a little something planned for tomorrow night for you and me. I'm going to make sure your dear old dad has a Christmas he'll never forget. I just wish I could see his face when he sees your body and realizes that everything he was afraid would happen to you did."

He approached her with the syringe, and she tried to knock it away. All her effort got her was another blow to the face, making her woozy. Graves looked at her and noticed she wasn't looking too good. He decided to give her a smaller dose of the sedative than normal. After all, he didn't want her to go and die on him before he could carry out his plans. He turned out the light and left her alone.

"God, please, please let someone find me soon" Joan murmured before darkness crowded in once again. She wondered if she'd imagined the soft touchon cheek that she felt as she slipped into oblivion.

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By late afternoon, officers were looking at surveillance tape from the Arcadia Post Office on the previous day and speaking with a couple of the employees. It was hard for them to remember who had come in to mail packages, since it was holiday time and the post office was so busy. The tape showed a customer walk in, dressed as Santa, with a package about the size of the one they were looking for.

"That's it," said one of the clerks. "I remember him. He said it was a special delivery. It was kinda creepy the way he said it too."

"Great", said one of the officers. "Now we're looking for Santa Claus. Do you have any idea how many people are out there dressed as Santa right now? Who's going to have any idea where this particular one went?"

Toni walked into Will's office and saw him sitting at his desk with his head in his hands. He looked up slightly as she sat down on his desk. "How's Helen doing?" she asked.

"I called Fran to come stay with her. I need to be here and I thought maybe she'd need someone to talk to. The boys are home, but still." Will sighed deeply. "This is all my fault."

"What are you talking about?"

"He's doing this to get back at me. My little girl is going through an absolute nightmare because of me."

"It's not your fault, Will. You couldn't have known that this would happen."

Will continued as if she hadn't spoken. "My God, I've been a cop for 25 years, and I can't even protect my own child. How am I supposed to face my family knowing that? Especially if…"

"Will, stop. Don't do this to yourself."

"I HAVE to find her."

"We will. We won't give up."

"I know what they're saying out there, Toni. It's been almost three days, we haven't heard from Graves again, and now that we've gotten that sweater, they're thinking we're just looking for a body."

"We don't know that. He's probably just trying to mess with your head. We're not going to stop looking for her or assuming that she's alive."

"We've got to get to her soon. I can't stand the thought of what she might be going through, or what she's already gone through, and I don't think we have much time." Will stood and went back into the bullpen to get back to work.

Toni followed slowly. She knew he was right. For one thing, Joan had obviously been injured and would need medical attention. She also doubted Graves would deviate too much from his usual m.o. Time was definitely running out.

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Graves turned off the tv after the newscast. He laughed to himself at the police department's attempt to sound like they were close to finding him and Joan. Right. And here he was wandering around right in front of them. They were idiots. Getting that Santa suit to wear as a disguise had been a stroke of genius. There were Santas everywhere on the streets and in stores, so he could move around pretty freely. He'd had to run some errands today to prepare for tomorrow night. He'd been going to wait until Christmas to kill the kid, but tomorrow was better. Gift-wrapping the body for discovery on Christmas morning would be a nice touch, too. Girardi would be getting a package he'd definitely never forget. Speaking of Girardi, Graves thought he really should give him a call tonight. Just to keep in touch.

He walked into the back bedroom, opened the closet door, and felt for the false wall panel and opened it. He turned the light on and checked to make sure Joan was still unconscious. She was, and he decided against giving her another injection. After all, he wanted her to be wide awake tomorrow. He put the Santa suit back on, and headed out to pick up a couple of things for tomorrow night and then call Will.

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Will returned had returned home late in the evening, exhausted since he still hadn't gotten any sleep. Seeing that all was quiet on the main floor, Will headed upstairs in search of his wife when he noticed the light on in Joan's room. He opened the door and looked in. "Helen?" She was sitting on Joan's bed, hugging one of her stuffed animals. Will went to sit next to her, and she looked up at him. "I wish I could tell you something good" he began.

"I know. Will, I'm sorry about last night. I shouldn't have yelled at you like that."

"It's alright. I understand."

"No, it's not alright. The last thing we need right now is for us to be fighting. I know you are doing everything you can to find her."

"I really wish we had more information."

"Did you find out anything about the package?"

"Yeah. According to the surveillance video, Santa sent it."

"Can you do anything with that?"

"Not much. Just hope he makes a mistake somewhere along the line. He might be getting cocky. That's usually when mistakes happen."

Helen looked around Joan's bedroom. "It's too quiet here."

"Yeah. No loud music, no teenage girl mood swings, no sibling fights."

"I miss her so much it hurts to breathe."

Will put his arms around Helen as they both began to cry.

Outside, a dark SUV drove slowly by the house. Officer Marks, who was taking his daily shift in the unmarked patrol car outside of the Girardi's house, thought it looked familiar. He was sure he'd seen it each night he'd been in the car. Figuring it was just someone who lived in the neighborhood, he only glanced over casually as the vehicle went by. Then he did a double take. Santa was driving the SUV. He quickly copied down the license number before the truck picked up speed and disappeared. He radioed the precinct, and they were able to trace the registration of the truck to a house on the other side of town.

Graves was so confident in his disguise that it never occurred to him that he'd been discovered. He never even noticed the unmarked police cruisers following him at a distance. As much as the officers wanted to pull this guy over now, they knew they couldn't. If Joan wasn't at the address from the registration of the SUV, they would have to keep tailing Graves and hope he led them to her. They stayed as far away as they dared when he stopped at a grocery store.

It didn't take long to get a search warrant and mobilize some officers to go check out the house. No one called the Girardi's – they wanted to wait and see what they found first. They knew Will would try to come along. All those involved liked and respected him, and they didn't want to have him see a potentially grisly crime scene or possibly be the one to find his daughter's body.

The house was quiet and appeared empty when officers arrived. They broke down the door, and a stream of officers stormed in. They roamed through the house, looking for any sign of Joan. One of them opened the closet door in the first floor bedroom and searched inside. Seeing nothing, she closed the door and moved on in her search. She never noticed the false wall. Officers began moving toward the front door, not able to find any sign that Joan was in the house.

"Wake up, JoJo"

"Judith?" Joan murmured. Everything was so fuzzy.

"C'mon. Rise and shine. It's time for you to go home."

Struggling against the sedative that threatened to pull her back under, she thought she heard voices in the house. She did hear voices, and people moving around.

"I'm in here!" She cried out. She found strength she didn't know she had left and pounded on the wall as best she could. "In here!" In moments officers were back near the wall. "Joan, it's Toni Williams. Are you in there", Toni called. "Yes!"

"Back away from the wall – we'll get you out"

She pressed herself back into the corner, and with a loud crash, an officer broke through the false wall. Lighted from the officer's flashlights flooded the small room and Joan flinched and turned away as it hit her eyes. She huddled into a ball as several officers entered, and drew further away when Toni touched her shoulder. "It's ok, Joan. It's just me. We're gonna get you out of here." She moved to the door and yelled, "Get the paramedics in here!"

Will and Helen both jumped when Will's cell phone rang.

"Will, it's Toni. We found her. She was in a house on the southwest side of town."

"Is she…"

"She's alive. They are taking her to Arcadia General. You can meet the ambulance there."

Helen was looking at Will expectantly as he hung up. Will relayed what Toni had told him, and she collapsed into his arms, crying with relief. Luke and Kevin, along with Grace and Adam, had all heard the phone ring and Helen start crying. They moved from Kevin's room to Joan's slowly, afraid of what they might be told.

"Get your coats on", Will told the four. We've got to get to the hospital. They've found Joan."

NOTE: This chapter is actually a rewrite of parts of two others that had taken a darker turn that I wasn't sure I'd ever be able to adequately resolve. Thanks for all the reviews so far. Please keep them coming! I'm happy to know people are enjoying the story, and since I'm new to this, I appreciate constructive criticism. I've never written anything where I keep switching scenes – does anyone have any advice on how to make this go smoother? I'll try to update again tomorrow, but since I'm headed out of town, I can't promise.


	6. Chapter 5

December 24, 2004

Joan had blacked out again on the way to the hospital. She awoke soon after she'd been wheeled into the ER. She was initially a bit startled to wake up in unfamiliar surroundings again. She looked up and saw DoctorGod, who was working at cleaning the various cuts and wounds on her face and neck.

"I'm here, Joan."

"Were you ever there with me in that room?"

"I was always with you. I never left you. I never would. I'm always there even if you can't see or hear Me, remember?"

"Then why did you let this stuff happen to me? I was so scared."

"I know you were afraid. I was afraid for you too. You faced evil, and you know I don't use that word lightly."

"You didn't answer my – oh, never mind. You don't do that."

"I know you want to know why, Joan. You know that there is always a purpose in what I do. We'll talk more later, but you need to rest now. And your family is on their way. You need to see them, and they need to see you. Rest for awhile. I won't be far away."

As Joan closed her eyes, she felt the same gentle touch to her cheek as she had before. She opened her eyes again, and DoctorGod smiled at her. "I told you I was there. Now rest."

Will, Helen, Kevin, Luke, Grace, and Adam piled into Will and Kevin's cars and headed for the hospital quickly. Officer Marks gave them a police escort so they could get there faster. The occupants of both cars were silent. They knew Joan was alive, but nothing of what condition she could be in. God only knew what had happened to her in the past three days.

Six frantic looking people burst into the ER. Toni was at the desk and walked over to them. "How is she?" asked Will.

"She was conscious when we found her, but they said she blacked out in the ambulance on the way here. I haven't heard anything else", replied Toni.

"Where is she? I need to see her", said Helen.

Toni grabbed a nurse. "Joan Girardi's family is here. Can you take them to her?"

The nurse looked at the group of people in front of her. "Well, just the parents. Come on." Helen and Will followed her through a door, leaving the others in the waiting area.

They reached the room Joan was in, and Helen stopped in her tracks at the sight of her daughter. She was so pale, as white as the sheets she was laying on, except for horrible looking cuts and bruises on her face, arms, and neck. A sob escaped her as Will put an arm around her shoulders. Joan's eyes fluttered open. "Mom?" she asked softly.

Helen rushed to her. "Joan, my baby. " The rest of her words were lost in her tears as she embraced her daughter. Joan started to cry too as her mother held her.

Will walked around to the other side of the bed and took Joan's hand in his. "Hey, honey. It's ok now. No one will hurt you." His heart nearly broke at the way she said "Daddy" and looked up at him. She looked so lost and small and scared. And there was that horrible looking gash on her cheek. His sadness turned to rage. How could anyone hurt his little girl?

Just then a doctor and nurse came in, along with Toni. "We'll need everyone to clear out so we can do an exam and get a statement," said the doctor. Another nurse came in and handed something to the first. "Here's the rape kit," she said softly. Will and Helen both froze, and shared a pained, stunned look.

Will immediately turned left the room. Helen pulled away slightly, as if to follow Will and comply with the doctor's wishes to leave, but Joan grasped her mother's hand and arm in a death grip. "Mama, no! Stay with me!" Joan hadn't called her Mama since she was 6. Helen looked at the doctor and announced, "I'm NOT leaving her." The doctor just nodded and started to examine the cuts on Joan's face and neck. "Joan, can you tell me what he did to you? Did he rape you?"

Joan drew in a shuddering breath and paused before responding. "He…touched me…everywhere" with the last word in a whisper. Helen put her other arm around Joan and hugged her.

"Did he do anything else?"

"I don't know. He kept injecting me with something. I was out a lot of the time. I just don't know." She began to tremble and her eyes, along with Helen's, filled with tears. Helen hugged her tighter.

We'll examine you and find out, ok?" said the doctor. Joan looked at her, afraid. "I know this is frightening for you. We'll do this as quickly as possible."

Helen helped Joan lie down and stroked her hair away from her face as the doctor began the exam. Joan still hadn't released her grip on Helen's other hand.

"Ssh, sweetheart, it's gonna be ok," Helen attempted to soothe her daughter as she whimpered a bit.

"I'm sorry, I know this is uncomfortable, but we'll be through in just a minute" said the doctor. "There. Ok, you can sit back up if you want."

But Joan just curled into a ball, tears slipping out of her eyes. Helen, in tears herself, rubbed her back, wishing there was something more she could do.

Toni touched Helen lightly on the shoulder. "I need to get a statement from her and I think it would be better if you waited outside for this. I promise I'll keep it as short as possible."

Helen was hesitant to leave, but she leaned close to Joan and said, "Honey? I'll be right outside the door. I'll be back in soon, I promise." Joan nodded slightly, and Helen made her exit after pressing a kiss to her forehead.

Meanwhile, everyone else was in the waiting area, with Will wearing a trench in the floor with his pacing and the other four sitting silently. He had called the station, wanting to know if they had found Graves. They had to find him. And when they did, Will wanted five minutes alone in a room with him. Just five minutes. He'd kill him and save the taxpayers the expense of a trial. Just then, his cell phone rang.

"Girardi"

"He's dead."

"What?"

"He was driving back to the house when he spotted the squad cars and took off. We chased him, and he eventually ran a red light into the path of a semi. He was killed instantly."

"Thanks for letting me know."

Will knew he should be relieved, but he somehow felt cheated out of the opportunity to kill the bastard himself. Still pacing, he noticed his wife leave Joan's room and went over to her, and the others followed at a small distance. Helen went straight into Will's arms, crying. "Oh Will! My poor baby!" Will held her tight. "Was she…"

"I don't know. She doesn't remember everything, and the doctor didn't say." The others guessed what they were talking about, and stayed silent, even as the doctor approached.

"Mr. and Mrs. Girardi? Why don't we go somewhere a bit more private" she said, noticing the group standing there.

"Hey, she's our sister", said Kevin, "We want to know what's going on. Is she going to be ok?"

"Your sister's physical injuries are not that serious. But I really should speak with just your parents," the doctor replied.

"We'll fill you in later, Kev," said Will.

"No," piped in Luke. "What are you not telling us? What does she mean, 'her physical injuries are not that serious'. What -"

"Shut it, Geek!" Grace interrupted. "Let's just go sit back down and let them talk to the doctor."

"But"

"The only butt should be yours in a chair. Move!"

Grace went back to the waiting area with Kevin and Luke behind her. Adam followed a little more slowly wondering, like Luke, what they weren't saying.

"So…" asked Will once the others had left.

"Well, I found no sign of penetration or related injury, and the labs came back negative for fluids, so I think it's safe to say she wasn't raped," disclosed the doctor. Both Will and Helen literally sagged in their relief as she said this. "Blood loss from those knife wounds appears to be minor. I can recommend a plastic surgeon who can help repair those, especially the one on her cheek. She's also a little malnourished and dehydrated. We've got her on an IV to fix that."

"But what about whatever she was injected with," asked Helen.

"The officers that found her also found vials and a syringe. Knowing what it was really helped. The levels in her system aren't in a dangerous range, and I'm guessing it had been several hours at least since the last injection when she was found. Otherwise she never would have been conscious to call out for help. All in all, she's really not in too bad shape, physically, considering everything she's gone through. But as I am sure you are aware, the psychological and emotional damage is far greater. It's not going to be easy recovering from this. I can also recommend a psychologist for her to talk to. She specializes in victims of sexual assault, and although Joan wasn't raped, the trauma she experienced is similar."

"When can we bring her home?"

"Normally, I would say we should keep her a couple of days. But in this case, it may be better for her, mentally, if she's at home. We'll monitor her for today, and if things are looking ok, we'll send her home this evening. But I'd still want to see her tomorrow, regardless."

"Thank you, doctor."

"You're welcome. Now, you've got a worried bunch of people in the waiting area to talk to. I'll check back in about an hour."

As the doctor left, Toni came out of Joan's room and approached Will and Helen. "I think I got everything I need. But I told her to contact me if she remembers anything else"

"Thanks," said Will. But you won't need it for a trial. Graves is dead. Killed trying to escape."

"Thank God!" replied Helen and Toni in unison.

"I'm going back in with her. Will you let the kids know what's going on?" asked Helen.

"Yeah. Then I'll be back in," Will replied as Helen entered Joan's room.

Joan was still curled into a ball when her mother approached her. "Honey? I just talked to the doctor, and you're ok. Everything's gonna be ok, I promise. The man that took you, he's dead. He can never, ever hurt you again." Will came back after talking to the kids and sending them home, telling them they would be able to see Joan there, later, and to get some sleep. He stood next to his wife until Joan fell asleep and each took a chair to sit next to her.

The day passed pretty quickly. Joan, still feeling the effects of the sedative, was asleep much of the time. She remembered God had said they would talk later, and she tried to stay awake, but she was just so tired. Nurses had brought in more comfortable chairs for Helen and Will, and they both dozed on and off much of the day, their lack of sleep during the week catching up with them. Doctors were in to check on Joan often, and by evening told Helen and Will it was safe to take her home.

Joan was nearly asleep again after the car ride home. Will picked her up out of the back seat and carried her into the house and up the stairs to her room, past the worried looks of Kevin, Luke, Grace, and Adam. Before following her husband and daughter upstairs, Helen told Grace and Adam to head home, since Joan probably wouldn't be awake long, and to call tomorrow to see how she was. Helen helped her daughter into her pyjamas and tucked her into bed as Kevin and Luke came up to the doorway. "Can we see her?"

"Of course. But don't stay too long, ok?"

The boys entered to room slowly. They were so happy their sister was alive and here with them, but they didn't really know how to act around her.

"Hey, squirt, nice of you to get home in time for Christmas. Luke and I were going to open all your presents tomorrow", Kevin joked. "Funny. Sorry to disappoint you", Joan replied. "Yeah, well, I was really looking forward to adding something pretty to my wardrobe." Joan laughed a little. "Well, you do need all the help you can get to look good. It would pretty much take a miracle though." Her brothers both breathed a sigh of relief. Joan was still Joan. Luke noticed her eyelids drooping and finally said "We'll let you go to sleep now. I'm happy you're home Joan. We all really missed you." The boys left the room as Helen came back in with a glass of water and some medication. "Here you go, honey. It's just some antibiotics to prevent infection in those cuts." Joan took the pills, and then lay down again. Helen stayed with her until Joan's breathing indicated she was sleeping.

A couple hours later, the family was awakened by horrible screams coming from Joan's room. Helen and Will were in there in a flash, with Luke and Kevin not far behind. Joan had somehow managed to tangle herself in the sheets and was trying desperately to free herself. Helen put her arms around her and tried to calm her down while Will got her untangled. "Ssh, ssh, it's just a dream. You're home and safe. No one will hurt you now." Joan was shaking violently as she continued to cry. "It's ok, sweetheart, it's ok. Nobody's gonna hurt you. Ssh." She quieted, but clung to her mother tightly. Helen looked at the worried expressions on Will's, Kevin's, and Luke's faces. "You guys go on back to bed. I'll stay with her."

Helen rubbed Joan's back until she fell asleep again. She sighed as she looked down at her daughter, thankful that she was home, but worried about what they next days would bring. As much as she wished it was all over, she knew it really wasn't. The ordeal of the last few days would be with Joan, with all of them, for awhile. Will came back into the room and put his hand on his wife's shoulder. "She asleep?"

"Yeah. I think I'm gonna sit with her awhile though, in case she wakes up again. I though you had gone back to bed."

Will pulled up the desk chair and sat down. "I did. But I wanted to check on her again. Part of me can't believe she's really home."

"I know. I keep looking at her, thinking how lucky we are, how close we came to losing her. I prayed so hard…"

"Me too."

Helen looked at her husband in surprise.

"I know, I know. But I didn't know what else to do. After we got that sweater in the mail, I felt so helpless, and I had no where else to turn."

"Looks like our prayers were answered."

"Looks like it." Will looked over at his now peacefully sleeping daughter and noticed the clock.

"Hey Helen?"

"Yeah?"

"Merry Christmas."

NOTE: I'm updating early today! I've got to head out for some holiday family bonding. This is the last update for awhile. I will add to the story over the next week, just not daily. Keep those reviews coming! Merry Christmas, everyone.


	7. Chapter 6

A/N: I'm finally updating this story! Between a new semester starting and not having my laptop for a month (thank you, Dell) I haven't been able to get to it. But anyway, here's the last chapter and epilogue. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: The characters still aren't mine, even though I did put them on my wish list to Santa for Christmas.

Aftermath

The first couple of days she was home seemed surreal to Joan. Part of her thought she might be dreaming, still unconscious from the drugs, and still locked in that horrible little room. She kept expecting to wake up and find herself there, with Graves looming over her. Still feeling tired and weak, she slept much of the time. Adam spent his days at the house, and Grace drifted in and out. Joan felt as though she was drifting as well. She'd only been out of the house to go to doctors visits, either to have blood drawn to make sure all the drugs were out of her system, or to the plastic surgeon to see about getting the knife wounds repaired, but she hadn't seen God. For a change, she wanted to see Him. She was confused, wondering why this had happened. Had she screwed up something somewhere along the way? Was there some instruction that she had missed or misinterpreted? While Joan was waiting for her blood draw one afternoon she asked herself how much longer until God decided to put in an appearance. No sooner than she completed that thought, Old Lady God, as a nurse, came in.

"There you are. I've been wondering when you'd pop up again."

"I don't 'pop', Joan."

"Yeah, whatever. You said you would explain why this stuff happened. I don't remember messing up any of your assignments, so I don't get it. You've never put me in danger before."

"I know. And I know you're confused. I normally wouldn't put you in harm's way like this, but it was necessary this time."

"But why?"

God sighed. "I told you earlier that you faced evil. That's the truth. I doubt you'll be surprised to know Graves was a serial killer. He would have gone on a killing spree after he escaped, but his fixation on you and getting back at your father prevented that. If he hadn't taken you and kept you for so long, 35 people would have been murdered before he'd been caught. One of them would have been your father."

Joan sat there, stunned. "But what if he had killed me? Would it have been my life for theirs or something?"

"You weren't going to die, Joan. You're purpose here isn't over. Not for a long time yet."

"Well, couldn't you have told me that in a dream or something? You had Judith show up and tell me to wake up. You could have had her tell me earlier I wasn't going to die."

"What makes you so sure your hearing Judith was a dream?

"Don't tell me I'm hallucinating again."

"You don't hallucinate. Well, just that one time when you thought Price was the devil. But that was your fever talking."

"So if it wasn't a dream, or a hallucination, what was it?"

"Joan, you really need to learn to listen better. Do you remember Grace's Bat Mitzvah when I asked you if you could still feel Judith?" God waited for Joan to nod before continuing. "When people die, they are only gone from the earth physically. A part of them always remains with the people that they loved. Judith loved you, very much. She will always be with you, and you will always be able to hear her voice."

Joan stared at God, not knowing what to say to this. God gave her a small smile, placed a gentle hand on her cheek, and left the room carrying two vials of blood Joan hadn't even noticed had been drawn.

School resumed the following week, but things were hardly back to normal for Joan or her family. She was barely sleeping, and the family was awakened regularly when she screamed from the nightmares that tormented her whenever she closed her eyes. Helen wound up spending half the nights in Joan's room with her since sometimes that was the only way her she would get any sleep at all. Will wasn't getting much sleep either. As he stood in the doorway to Joan's bedroom one night listening to his wife try to comfort their daughter from yet another nightmare, he was once again overcome with guilt. This was his fault. He had told Joan once that he wouldn't lose her, for any reason. Well, he had, and she had gone through a hell she was still in. He had let her down.

The days went by, and Joan wouldn't discuss what had happened or the nightmares with anyone, including the psychologist the doctor in the emergency room had recommended. She refused to go see her, not wanting another Dr. Dan experience. Helen and Will were hesitant to push her, despite their worry, and hoped she'd be ready to talk if they gave her a little more time.

School wasn't going much better. Joan felt like everyone was staring at her constantly. The bandages covering the knife wounds didn't help with that either. Everyone knew she had been kidnapped, and speculation about what may have happened to her abounded. The whispers were as bad as the stares, as was the sudden silence that took over whenever Joan came around a corner or entered a classroom. Of course, some of this was due to Grace shooting death glares at anyone who she thought was staring at or talking about her friend. Despite her friends trying to help, as the week wore on, Joan couldn't take it anymore. She couldn't stand the way people looked at her. Her lack of sleep just added to it and made her even more ill tempered. The more agitated she got, the more she blew up at her friends, even though they were only trying to help. Grace, not knowing what else to do, decided to give Joan some space. Adam had already started keeping more distance than he normally would, because he didn't know what to do to help anymore. Unfortunately, this approach didn't sit well with Joan either. She knew she was being something of a bitch, but she couldn't seem to help herself as she lit into her brother, Grace, and Adam one afternoon both for hovering over her and for backing off. When they just stared at her after her outburst, she took off down the hall, shoving Adam roughly as he tried to stop her from leaving. In an uncharacteristically bold move, he followed her down the hall and pulled her into an empty classroom to confront her.

"Jane, what's wrong? Why are you acting like this?"  
"What's wrong? Look at me!"

"I am."  
Joan ripped off the gauze over the wound on her cheek. "No. Look at me! Everyone else does! Look at this! I'm hideous, damaged, a freak-"

"Jane, stop! I am looking at you. I see you. And you are beautiful. The most beautiful person I know. You think a mark on your cheek can change that? Besides, it's not forever. It's something they can fix. And even if they couldn't, it wouldn't change how I feel about you or how I see you." He approached her and placed his hands on her shoulders before going on. "I love you, Jane, and nothing can change that."

Joan looked at him and saw the look in his eyes, the earnestness in his face, and knew he was telling her the truth.

Adam pulled her into his arms and continued. "You know, someday we'll be old and wrinkly and have liver spots, but I'll look at you and still think you are as beautiful as I thought you were the very first day I saw you."

Joan hugged him tight as tears slipped down her cheeks. Adam pulled away after a couple of minutes and wiped those tears away. As he took her hand to lead her to class, he could only hope he'd gotten through to her somehow.

The next day Joan went to the plastic surgeon for the final consult before the procedure they had planned to repair the external damage done by Graves and his knife. Joan looked up as the doctor entered the exam room. He looked at a poster of a seemingly satisfied patient and sighed.

"Amazing how people think appearance is so all-important and that changing it will change them. But any change done to the outside isn't necessarily reflected on the inside." the doctor replied as he looked at her in a way she was so familiar with.

"Oh God. You're into plastic surgery now?

"I'm into everything, Joan."

"Great. So are you going to fix this so I can stop being the object of everyone's attention at school? I'm sick of everyone staring at me like I'm broken."

"There's no quick and easy fix. And everyone has scars and wounds that need to heal. But it's how you react to them that's important. You can not treat them, or keep picking at them and let them keep you a victim, or you can let them heal and, eventually, make you stronger."

"Are you telling me to not get these fixed? To just live with these scars so people can stare at me to prove a point?"

"I didn't say that at all. There's a bigger point here. And not all wounds are where others can see. You need to treat the ones on the inside too."

"What?"  
"Go see the doctor, Joan."  
"I thought that's what I was doing."  
"The other one. The one you refuse to see."

"Oh no. I'm not going to relive Dr. Dan."  
"I'm not asking you to go see him. Joan, look. You need to talk about this to someone in order to move past it."  
"Wouldn't that just be "picking at" the wounds?"

"No. What you're doing now, bottling everything up, is just letting them fester. You'll never heal that way. Things will just get worse."

"Well, those nightmares you're sending my way certainly are."

"I'm not sending you nightmares. The subconscious is a funny thing. You are refusing to let your feelings and fears out, so they are coming out the only way they can – in your dreams. Go to the doctor, Joan."

Joan ignored God's advice about going to the psychologist. She didn't want to talk about what had happened. She just wanted to forget it all. God, however, had been correct about her letting her wounds fester. Things were getting worse, including the nightmares. It was now the week after her plastic surgery, and Joan, as well as her family and friends, didn't know how much more they could take.

After one particularly vicious nightmare during which Joan had bloodied Luke's nose as he'd tried to wake her, Helen knew she had to have a talk with her daughter about going to the psychologist. She wasn't giving her a choice about this anymore. "Joan, this has to stop. You're not getting any sleep, you have nightmares all the time, and today I got called into Price's office to discuss you not paying attention in class and your grades. You need to talk to someone about what happened, otherwise it's going to keep getting worse. I'm making you an appointment with that psychologist, and you are going to go." Joan just nodded at her mother. She knew Helen was right. She was so tired of all of this and just wanted it to stop too.


	8. Epilogue

Epilogue

Going to the psychologist had gone better than Joan had thought. Susan was definitely not Dr. Dan, nor did she seem like any of the other shrinks she'd had to see after her bout with Lyme Disease. She was nice, really listened, and actually had helpful things to say. Talking about everything that had happened was difficult, but Joan felt better when she left than when she arrived. She'd actually wanted to talk to her again, much to Helen's relief, and began having weekly appointments. Soon, things began to slowly improve for everyone except Will, who was still consumed with guilt every time Joan had a nightmare or jumped at an unexpected loud noise.

Late one night, Joan couldn't sleep again. Susan had said the nightmares would continue for awhile, but Joan just wanted them to disappear. As she walked downstairs to get a drink, she noticed the tv on in the living room. "Dad?"

"Joan. What are you doing up?"

"Can't get back to sleep."

"Did you have another nightmare?"

"Yeah."

Will looked at his daughter sadly. "I'm sorry, kiddo, I'm so sorry you have had to go through all this. If I'd –"

"It's not your fault, Daddy. You couldn't have known this would happen. And you won't always be able to protect me from everything, no matter how much you want to. Stuff happens for a reason. If he hadn't taken me, he would have killed you. But everything will be ok somehow, and we're both here. That's the most important thing."

Will looked at Joan, amazed. When had his little girl gotten smarter than him? "I love you, honey."

"I love you too. What you watching?"

"The Godfather. Wanna watch with me?"

"Sure." Joan plopped down on the couch next to him as he put his arm around her shoulders.

Helen woke up a while later and noticed Will still hadn't come to bed. She sighed. He was probably still downstairs. She didn't think he'd really slept since before Joan was taken. She stopped by Joan's room to check on her, and was surprised to find it empty. She really hoped her daughter would be able to sleep again soon, too. Last year had been awful in so many ways, and it seemed to be continuing even though the calendar had changed. When would it finally seem like a new year? Heading downstairs, she heard the tv on and walked toward the living room. She stopped in the doorway and smiled at what she saw. Will's head had dropped back on the back of the couch, and soft snores were coming from Joan, who was curled into his side. Both were sound asleep. Helen smiled again as she covered them both with a blanket and thought that maybe her question had just been answered. It might be February, but finally it seemed like the year's end.

A/N: All done! Hope you all enjoyed it!


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